Shyton, a northern town and former industrial powerhouse that once rivalled Oldham, is now more well-known for its poverty, its abandoned houses and its thriving amateur porn industry. But it's not all doom and gloom. Shyton United have been promoted to the Premier League much to the surprise of every bookmaker in England. Bad boy turned footballing hero Tommy 'Machine' Gunn is entangled in a mess created by the crooked managing director, and local filmmaker Stanley Gobsen is catching every move on camera. Will Tommy be able to extricate himself without destroying his hometown club? Will Shyton remain in the Premier League and will Stanley be able to complete his documentary while witnessing the destruction of his beloved club?