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#1 The narcissist both appeals and appalls. He may look like a modern-day Sir Lancelot, replete with the most swaggering charm, but he is also a master of illusion. His arrogance, condescension, and lack of empathy lead to frustrating interpersonal encounters and chronically difficult long-term relationships.

#2 The majority of narcissists are male, so I'll primarily use the male pronoun and male examples throughout this book. However, at the end of this chapter you'll find material on particularities of female narcissists.

#3 If you checked at least ten of the thirteen items on the list, the person in your life most likely meets the criteria for overt maladaptive narcissism, the most common and difficult form. This type of narcissist is in your face and unwieldy.

#4 The term narcissism is derived from Greek mythology's tale of Narcissus, who was doomed to eternally fall in love with his own image in a mountain pool as punishment for refusing to accept an offer of love from Echo, a young mountain nymph.