Learn to take down those Loony Lefties!

Have you ever contemplated calling Homeland Security to report some hapless liberal as an enemy combatant?

Or did you just want to "occupy" his mouth with your fist?

No matter the flavor of your clueless left-wing adversary, here's a survival guide for anyone who's fantasized about smacking down a liberal moon bat.

Learn how to:

It's time to defend America against every godless, gun-grabbing, tax-hiking, socialism-loving, shower-avoiding lunatic in your midst.

If you want to battle tree-hugging hippies, consider this your chainsaw!